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For hearing all my doubts so selectively and
For continuing my numbing love endlessly.
For helping you and myself: not even considering
For beating myself up and overfunctioning.

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one

For letting you decide if I indeed was desirable
For myself love being so embarassingly conditional.
And for denying myself to somehow make us compatible
and for trying to fit a rectangle into a ball.

And
To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one

I'm sorry to myself.
My apologies begin here before everybody else.
I'm sorry to myself.
For treating me worse than I would anybody else.

For blaming myself for your unhappiness
and for my impatience when I was perfect where I was.
Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready,
and expecting myself to be where you wanted me to be.

To whom do I owe the first apology?
No one

And
I
My apologies begin here before everybody else.
I
For treating me worse than I would anybody else.

Well, I wonder which crime is the biggest ?
Forgetting you or forgetting myself...
Had I heeded the wisdom of the latter,
I would

For ignoring you: my highest voices.
For smiling when my strife was all too obvious.
For being so disassociated from my body,
and for not letting go when it would

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one

And
I
My apologies begin here before everybody else
I
For treating me worse than I would anybody else.
I
My apologies begin here before everybody else
I
For treating me worse than I would anybody else

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